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When you and your child interact, what often happens is that your child communicates or conveys a message to you, and in response feels partially heard, or does not feel heard at all. For instance, your child’s message may be to express an idea, a thought, or a feeling-emotion, to you, and your response may be to problem-solve and to give a solution or to provide parental advice and wisdom to your child.

One consequence of this “dance” is that your child may have a sense of not being heard and understood. Your child may experience this as an empty feeling. For your child this may also be accompanied by a vague unsatisfied sense. This empty and unsatisfied feeling may be outside of your child’s conscious awareness and is often very subtle. In families where these poor communicating patterns occur repeatedly, children may get used to not feeling heard.

A deep human need is not being fulfilled. A consequence of this is that your child may end up feeling frustrated. If this feeling unheard happens a lot, your child may also feel invisible, unloved, unimportant, alone, and insecure. Your child may sense that it is not safe for him to express his feelings…

(Continue reading this post via Your Child-Your Divorce)