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What can addiction teach us about personal development?

A lot. There is much wisdom to be learned by the addict’s journey from addiction to recovery.

I realize that many of you reading this now are probably not drug addicts and alcoholics. That’s fine – but you stand to gain great insight from the experience of those who have fought and overcome a serious addiction. There are several parallels between recovery and personal development. Many would argue that their paths are actually one and the same.

As a recovering drug addict and alcoholic with over 7 years clean and sober, one of my passions is exploring the process of overcoming addiction. While there are many different recovery programs, most of them share many of the same characteristics, so people who find success in recovery do so by following a similar path.

Here are some of the things that lead to long term sobriety, while also having practical application for personal development:

(Continue reading this post via The Urban Monk)

This is the first of a seven-part series on the Secrets of Wellbeing. The reason I’m launching into this series is because I’m excited about what is happening in the field of psychology and how new research supports ancient teachings.

A new direction called Positive Psychology has started to take centre stage. Instead of looking at problems and how to fix them, Positive Psychology investigates what allows us to experience life at its best. In this series I’ll discuss what we can learn from this research.

What is happiness?

This question is important for each of us because our view of happiness determines how we live our life.

As Martin Seligman - the founder of Positive Psychology - points out, there are three main ways how people view happiness. Read on to find out which one of these three ways describes the way you see happiness.

The Pleasant Life or the ‘life of enjoyment’:

In this way of life we seek out pleasures and try to avoid pain. The great thing about this way of life is that we truly taste and enjoy the special moments. Like starting a powder run on a snowboard or sharing a laugh with your partner.

But there are some problems with this view of happiness. One is that pain is inevitable in life: relationships end, health can be precarious, and death is certain. This means that if we expect to gain happiness only from pleasure, we are ill equipped to deal with suffering.

The other problem is that the sum of our actual experiences, and how we judge those experiences in retrospect can be radically different. Seligman gives the following example:

When asked about a vacation - so he explains - you might answer, “It was great!”, even though the flow of experiences at the time may have been a series of unpleasant moments, such as sunburn, mosquito bites, upset stomach, scary situations, and a fear of blowing your budget.

I think the same goes for pleasant experiences. I don’t know how it is for you, but after about a week of lying about on a tropical beach I tend to get restless. I miss being creative and productive. So, even though there may be a constant flow of pleasant moments, my overall experience is that of feeling unfulfilled…

(Continue reading this post via Goodlife Zen)

Guilt was never a rational thing; it distorts all the faculties of the human mind, it perverts them, it leaves a man no longer in the free use of his reason, it puts him into confusion.
~ Edmund Burke

Guilt is, simply put, a wrong notion. Guilt is paralyzing, destructive. You think you have done something you shouldn’t have; you hadn’t done something you should have.

Guilt is the false idea that you could have done better; that you had the power to choose. But if you look deeply into it, you will see that you were helpless. There was simply no choice.

There might still be tears and sadness, efforts at reparation might still be needed – but deep down inside, there will be a measure of peace, resting in the knowledge that you were not at fault.

Understanding Guilt

The death of guilt comes with the realization that you could have done nothing else. Your emotional state, your past conditioning, your beliefs and knowledge, your instincts and intuition – they were just too strong. A beach ball, separated from its owner, pulled along by the raging waves – what can it do? It is dragged out, lost at sea. Who can blame it?

Without awareness, we are without control, completely at the mercy of our past.

Relax your body; close your eyes. Think of the last time you felt angry. Place yourself, as best as you can, back in time…

(Continue reading this post via Urban Monk)

Beliefs are formed and adopted by recognizing patterns through a series of events, even if the events have nothing to do with our own personal experience. Why is this important? Everything we experience in our lives is centered on our beliefs about life.

All beliefs effect experience, yet not all beliefs are part of our reality. There are main beliefs and core beliefs. Main beliefs are the beliefs we have about life that match our reality. These are the beliefs that are developed through observing our everyday life and determining that life is this way because we perceive it to be. Having a core belief means believing in something even though we do not experience it as reality in our everyday lives.

You might say main beliefs are the strongest since they are the beliefs that effect our lives on a continuous basis, but core beliefs are strong too since you can have a core belief all your life and never experience it as reality because you have too many main beliefs blocking your core belief.

For example, one of my core beliefs is that anyone can make a living doing what they passionately love, yet I did not always experience this as my reality because I was perceiving/ experiencing life with main limiting beliefs, I did not understand the relationship between consciousness verse reality, and I did not live my passion as a career from moment to moment…

(Continue reading this post via Conscious Flex)

I am writing this to the woman who wants it all.  I am all about wanting it all.  I dream big, I aim (really) high, I think whoever thinks I have delusions of grandeur apparently doesn’t know me well enough, and I sip from a glass that’s half-full. 

It’s wonderful, really. 

What ISN’T wonderful is the insane amount of stress that can come from having to multi-task and drudge through a way too busy day.  Stress is like quicksand right at the very center of your dreams.  You add to, tweak, or create new dreams and goals and while you are trying to move forward with all of your plans, the quicksand sucks you and your strength away as you try to forge on!  The less strength you have, the less you are able to manage.   Regardless of what success is for you, effort and energy is required to make the engine of your dreamboat purr.  If you want to be  super-mom, a straight-A student, a star at work, handy-sans-the-man,  or (eek) everything at once–

You’re going to need a system. 

If You Can’t Think Straight, Don’t.

Gifting yourself a few minutes in the midst of all the mind clutter can be the best thing you can do for your day.  Sometimes all the external stimulation, rushing, and chronic anxiety undermines your efforts instead of contributing to your productivity.  So, as a major fan of Me Time, I suggest that you take some to regroup and energize yourself.  Find a quiet area away from all distractions (even if it’s a bathroom stall at work) and take five.  Close your eyes and still the currents of thoughts in your mind.  In this moment, your only job is to drain it all away.  Relax every tense muscle in your body.  Not only will catching your breath energize you, it will help bring clarity to your thoughts.  That clarity will come a better ability to manage your tasks…

(Continue reading this post via In My Heels)

There are two traps in happiness.The first trap is deciding to make a tiny change when a big change is needed. If you hate your job, figuring out a way to stop working on the weekends isn’t going to solve the underlying problem.

The second trap – and I think the more common trap – is believing that a small change won’t make a difference, that only radical change can make you happier.

I’m constantly amazed by the big boost in happiness I get from small changes. Sometimes, though, it can be hard to identify the places where a small improvement could yield big happiness benefits.

So try these two steps if you feel like you need a happiness lift…

(Continue reading this post via The Happiness Project)

I can’t claim that my home is completely minimalist, but it surely isn’t cluttered, and most people I know would call it a pretty minimalist home.

One recent visitor saw my kitchen and remarked, “I’ve never seen a kitchen that looked so clean, so clear of stuff!” Well, I do my best to keep it clean, but the key is to remove the unnecessary stuff.

For example, on the floor of my kitchen/dining room area are just a few essentials: dining table (clear of any clutter), chairs, some counter stools, a high chair, a step stool for the kids. On the counters are only the toaster, coffee maker and microwave.

Is this kind of minimalist home devoid of character and fun and life? Some might think so, but I get a strange satisfaction, a fulfillment, at looking around and seeing a home free of clutter. It’s calming, and liberating, and just nice.

Benefits of a Minimalist Home
I could probably go on for awhile about this, but let me just list a few key benefits:

1. Less stressful. Clutter is a form of visual distraction, and everything in our vision pulls at our attention at least a little. The less clutter, the less visual stress we have. A minimalist home is calming.
2. More appealing. Think about photos of homes that are cluttered, and photos of minimalist homes. The ones with almost nothing in them except some beautiful furniture, some nice artwork, and a very few pretty decorations, are the ones that appeal to most of us. You can make your home more appealing by making it more minimalist.
3. Easier to clean. It’s hard to clean a whole bunch of objects, or to sweep or vacuum around a bunch of furniture. The more stuff you have, the more you have to keep clean, and the more complicated it is to clean around the stuff. Think about how easy it is to clean an empty room compared to one with 50 objects in it. That’s an extreme example, of course, as I wouldn’t recommend you have an empty room, but it’s just to illustrate the difference.

(Continue reading this post via Zen Habits)